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Houston Oolongs

by Alabaster Samovars

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about

Chuckling to himself in Italian, the Marijuana Pot Man stacks two paper-thin porcelain teacups and fills the inner one with a perverse blend of Tung Ting oolong and codeine syrup.

Close by, on a chaise longue sculpted from the hull of a saltwater crocodile, sits Remington Iron. He is smoking multiple cigars from an ornate device that resembles a baroque candelabra.

The two men are in an uncharacteristically jubilant mood, having evaded the ambiguously Continental antagonists who have scourged them from Prague to Mayfair.

Tonight's festivities will include a seance to summon the ghost of Porfirio Rubirosa.

lyrics

LYRICS:



[Hook, x2]
Sippin' on that syrup, watch my diamonds flare up
Sippin' on that syrup, watch my dollars turn up
Technicolor tech, whip silhouette
Step up in this bitch and watch my diamonds pirouette

You know my schtick
Lopin' in to give your hoe's envelope a lick
I'm at ten below for this
I might bend her over quick, then run up in her slow
Pull her head back, bust a nut up in her throat
I'm a motherfuckin' pro, so my dick ain't free
You know that Spanish Inquisition, how my whip game be
I like my top laid back
Windows well tinted
And my future bright enough that I can see myself in it
Take a minute to acknowledge it
Forgiatos on the Morgan, forty more to follow it
Collar Neapolitan
Politic up in the parking lot a bit
Got the top of Corcovado cordoned off
And I got 'em Mortoned off the quality of all of it
Get up of off my dick I'm 'bout to call up a urologist
Super in the shoulder holster, Rubirosa scholarship
French polish on the kicks
French tips, and the motherfuckers cost a solid brick

[Hook x2]

They're like..."why you keeping it vicuna for the uniform?"
"Why your sense of humor need a humidor?"
"Why you kick it with a tuning fork in human form who can whip the pan awry, kind of like a Luminor?"
Eight landaulets, pants are made of manta ray
Fuck around and paint the Phantom like it's Santa's sleigh
Supercomputer since booted through the uterus
Lucifer your crew before you clue to who the shooter is

Souchongs, oolongs, syrup out the samovar
Ooh she bad, ooh she bad, hop up on these handlebars
Black shades, brown frames, cream suede, tan cigars
Remi hold heat like a candle jar
Just got back from Zanzibar
Tripped up, slicked up, purple out the pewter cup
You ain't got the tools? No, no, no, no, you can't screw with us
Duo too aloof in the coupe with some kittens, yeah
Noodles to the tooth, I flew the coop with some chickens
Catch up

[Hook x2]

credits

released July 16, 2018
Verse 1: The Marijuana Pot Man
Verse 2: Remington Iron
Verse 3: The Marijuana Pot Man
Production: Remington Iron
Artwork: Aidan Collins

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Alabaster Samovars Burlington, Vermont

Alabaster Samovars consists of:

Remington Iron, producer and rapper

&

The Marijuana Pot Man, rapper

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